"Mommy, I see colors when I close my eyes. Do you see colors when you close your eyes?" -Callie, a little anxious sounding. "I don't know Callie, its way past your bedtime. Please go to sleep" I told her after a bedtime meltdown which she has often. And nothing in me wanted to talk about why we see colors or lights when we close our eyes. My glass of wine was waiting on me downstairs. For some reason, she's always been the hardest to put to bed. Maybe it's because we rocked her to sleep as a baby and tip-toed out of her room. I swore I'd put the rest of my babies down when they were still awake so they could self soothe and fall asleep on their own. I will say with 5 kids, that was the best decision of my parenting life.
We are only a week away from school starting for Callie and Cooper and about a month away for Crosby and Clay. My patience is thin and the kids are constantly fighting or bored it seems. Mom guilt sneaks up and I feel like a failure some days. I know it's not the case in the bigger picture of my kids' lives. I am a great mom. Are my kids having any fun this summer?! Yes. Am I going through the motions some days just to get through the day? Yes. Are we giving each of them the attention they need? We try our best. That's the thing about having 5 kids, there's 5 different hearts and minds to love and encourage. 5 different attitudes to discipline, 5 different little beings that need my undivided attention throughout the day. With all 5 home, it's impossible sometimes. I feel like my mind and body are pulled in 5 different directions all day long.
These two fight constantly but they also play so well together. Must be the age difference of 13 months.
Cooper and Daddy
A trip to Krispy Kreme
McDonald's on "happy" day for Waves of Grace
We took the kids to where we had our wedding reception.
The picture above was a game they came up with on their own. Take Daddy's socks out of his drawer and play ninja. Socks were everywhere but it kept them busy and it was pretty funny. Below is one of the many "tents" they built this summer. They love taking over the living room so much that we are currently talking about turning it into more of a den with a tv.
Poor Crosby. This guy hits the floor running (literally) from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep.
Best friends
Little bit is 18lbs at her 18 month checkup. She's still not walking but we are hopeful it's going to happen any day now.
We lined them up to see the height differences. We told Callie her brothers would be taller than her, Grace, and me.
I got a sweet reminder laying with Callie last night at bedtime. This summer has been a whirlwind. At times where I feel pulled in different directions by my children, I know Jesus is with them when I can't be. I believe it and I pray it everyday. Jesus, take care of their hearts when Mike and I can't. Comfort them when they feel alone. Listen when they feel unheard. When worry creeps in, remind me you've got them. When guilt creeps in, remind me tomorrow is a brand new day. When I don't know all the answers and even when I do, I'm pointing them to you. "Mommy, I know why I see colors when I close my eyes! Jesus is telling me stories with colors!" -Callie, age 8.
